Thursday, 4 December 2008

How not to write a query letter

An antidote to query writing:

Dear Tony
You may recall we met at the Edinburgh Book Festival in 1992. I was the one in the green leotard shouting and waving at the back of the hall as you gave your keynote address. Anyway you suggested I go off and write or words to that effect, so here is the result of your encouragement. My debut novel, a sci-fi/western/supernatural/romance you-name-it-it's-in-there, entitled "Bungee Jumping In The Gobi Desert", is 560k words long. I realise that's a bit on the long side, but I reckon I could get it down to 550k with a bit of nip and tuck. It would make a terrific film and I'm sending a copy to Stephen Spielberg - does he accept email attachments do you know? I can see Brad Pitt in the lead role, and if he's not available then maybe George Cluney but definitely not Leonardo di Caprio who sucks big time.
Anyway hope you enjoy reading it. I've put my phone number at the top of the page, but for God's sake don't call after nine because the dog goes wild when the phone rings and wakes up the whole street.
Yours, Wally


Lori said...

Sandra, you should not post that often because I end up just reading your blog all day:)

The query letter is really good. You are a master of the comedic effect, which I really envy, considering that I am the most humorless person ever. (not in the sense that I don't appreciate humor because that I do, plenty. I'm just not able to make it and that is so sad!)

Sandra Patterson said...

*blushes* Thanks for those kind comments Lori! I actually posted this on a forum and thought I should put it here as a way of keeping it. Glad you liked it.