Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Letting go

Sending one's work out into the world isn't just an exciting step into the unknown, it's also an act of faith and optimism. We know the chances of rejection are enormous and the pain will be terrible but we still submit. I have enormous respect for anyone who does it because I know how much courage it takes.

I've spent two and a half years creating something, from the first inkling of an idea through the frantic excitement of the first draft, and the sometimes grinding boredom of seemingly endless edits and revisions. Shutting myself away from humanity to create this story. All the while trying to hold onto that initial spark that first inspired me and has kept me going.

Finally I feel I've achieved what I wanted, can feel proud of what I see on the page. What else is there to do but send it out into the world? If I don't, it will all have been for nothing.

Here's the funny part. All the while I told myself that I could do anything I wanted just as soon as this was finished. I thought I'd be giddy with excitement at the prospect of writing something different. But it isn't the case. It's harder to let it go than I imagined. I'm trying to work on something else but it's hard to concentrate. My heart isn't in it. I'm worrying about my precious baby out there in the world on its own.

So that's something new I've learned. Letting go is as important as creating, and they are both acts of courage worthy of respect.


Lori said...

I don't have much to say regarding this post. Just hang in there, the end of the tunnel is near. I just wanted to tell you that I have been reading through your older posts and they resonated with me.
I loved the comedy snippet from your WIP. I understand your frustrations with the critique forums. I know how it is to feel sick and tired of a novel that you've been working on for too long. The genre dilemma? I'm there with you.
So, I am having a great time reading your blog. Post more often!

Sandra Patterson said...

Thanks Lori! Much appreciated.