Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Harry Potter to leave JK Rowling
The book world hasn't been rocked this week by the news that fictional schoolboy wizard Harry Potter has announced he is to leave his long-time creator JK Rowling.
"We have been close for many years," said Potter outside the premises of his new internet company, EvenmoreHarryPotter. "But I've grown up now and it's time to move on." He denied the split was due to the founding of the new company in which Rowling has no share. "EvenmoreHarryPotter is my own project. It's going to help develop me as a fictional character and give something back to my millions of fans who will pay handsomely for it."
Potter is the main character of Rowling's Harry Potter books which have netted the Edinburgh based author millions and spawned several movies. This news comes hot on the trail of unsubstantiated rumours that The Famous Five are to leave their now deceased author, Enid Blyton, to form their own internet casino, and that Hercule Poirot will leave Agatha Christie to start an online ant farm.
"I have no long term plans, but if I appear in any other Harry Potter books they will be sold through EvenmoreHarryPotter," added Potter before stubbing out a spliff. "I'm sorry it has come to this but I am a grown up now and she keeps treating me like some dumb kid wizard in a school and I want to do my own thing, innit."
A spokesman for Rowling said, "JK is not bitter, but that ungrateful little bastard owes me, I mean her, everything. Wait till this gets to court and I'll, I mean she'll, sue the arse off the little turd. He's nothing without me. Nothing. (I mean her.)"
Harry Potter is 22.