Wednesday, 4 November 2009

And when will you be published...?

One trap I've steadfastly avoided is to tell anyone apart from the people who daily trip over my manuscripts that I'm writing a book. The reason for this is not simply obsessive secrecy, although that comes into it. For one thing, I think it's dangerous to speak about your story before you have it written down. And if I said By the way, I'm writing a book I know the response would be Really? What's it about? And if I then tried to clam up and say nothing they'd likely take offence, so to avoid that scenario I don't let on at all. It really saves a lot of heartache in the longrun.

But someone asked on a forum lately for witty come-backs to the usual "Have you found a publisher yet?"

I've given it some thought and reckon there are two possible courses. The first is to lie outrageously:

But I am published. My pen name is JK Rowling/Dan Brown/Jackie Collins (depending on preference). NOTE: The downside to this is everyone will expect you to pay for lunch from now on since you are obviously vastly rich.

The other is to be blindingly honest. This further breaks down into

(a) honest but deluded:

The world is simply not ready for my books.

(b) honest but paranoid:

I would be published by now if it wasn't for the international conspiracy to keep good literature off the bookshelves

(c) honest but pathetic

You wouldn't happen to know any publishers, would you?


Charlotte said...

Yikes! I think that someone was me. And your answers were brilliant, so thank you.

Sandra Patterson said...

Well thanks, Charlotte (Webspinner, I presume?)