You know those lists you often find on message boards: Ten things to guarantee rejection or Five ways NOT to start your novel. Well, maybe I've been knocking around the internet too long, but these lists are really starting to annoy me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the arrogance behind it; I know the Secret Formula for success, folks. Just follow these simple rules.
Because there are no rules, however much we like to think there are.
However I realise I am swimming against the tide here so in keeping with bloggers' love of lists of rules, here are my 10 Most Annoying Lists:
10 Things that are probably wrong with your manuscript.
10 Ways to alienate an agent.
10 Ways to guarantee you never get published.
5 Things you shouldn't put on toast
20 best writing aids
10 most cliched story ideas
10 least likely romantic pairings
20 Blogs you should read
10 presents you should never give your granny
20 things you should never write in your query.
3 comments:
Love your list of annoying lists, Sandra. Lists of ways to annoy an agent (etc) always bring out the rebellious streak in me. Which may explain why I haven't got an agent yet...
The most annoying list I ever read was one called- '"10 Most Annoying Lists2 on a blog by some woman called Sandra Patterson. Don't know if you've heard of her or seen it.
Okay you knew somebody would make that joke so I thought I'd be first. I actually have a love/hate relationship with lists like these. They draw me in and fascinate me but at the same time I realise I'm wasting my time.
I used to have this great book years ago called, 'The Big Book Of Lists' for instance and I spent hours reading through so much trivia that I had queues of my family banging on the bathroom door desperate to get in to us the loo.
Now I'm off to Google some of the lists mentioned in this post. See you some time in April.
These lists often aren't so bad as guidelines - it's when we're told they're unbreakable rules and no exceptions are permissable that they annoy me.
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