Ego (Again)

I'm always coming back to this subject, perhaps because in this writing community of ours ego is always manifesting itself. As an individual I wrestle with ego all the time - it gives rise to much of the difficulties in life. Although it's true we need ego to give us enough self-belief and pig headed determination to keep going in spite of the knocks and setbacks we face, ego can also be your worst enemy if you're not careful.

It's dangerous because of the lies it tells us. Those lies are necessary to help us succeed - they tell us we're great when everyone is rejecting our manuscript. But what happens when that manuscript is suddenly accepted? We no longer need the lies, but our ego doesn't know that. Basking in the joy of much longed-for recognition, old Ego goes into overdrive. See, I told you you were brilliant, didn't I? We don't need anybody. Just stick with me kid and we're goin' straight to the top...

So all those niggling self-doubts go out of the window and good riddance to bad rubbish. Except that they were our only quality control, weren't they? They stopped us from making a fool of ourselves by shooting our mouths off - now there's no one to censor us. But that's no problem, says old Ego. You don't need a censor. You're solid gold, baby. Shoot away!

And everything we commit to paper needs no checking, no revising, no peer review, according to old Ego. Surely we've proved we know it all now? Just get it out there, baby.

It's a danger lying in wait for all of us.

My last post was about great artists who died tragically young and suffered for their art. That suffering was the necessary struggle of ego because ego alone never produced great art. Ego only wants glory. He makes us rigid and closed when we need to be open and flexible. He isn't interested in producing something lasting, something that will resonate with others because of its inherent truth. To see the truth you have put ego aside.

And here's a good reminder of some of the pitfalls of success.

Inspiration and Other Writers

What inspires you as a writer?

I find the lives of other writers fascinating. Especially the famous ones. I recently revisited The Hours - the movie based on Michael Cunningham's novel about three women: author Virginia Woolf, whose novel Mrs Dalloway influences the lives of the other two. Virginia Woolf is played by Nicole Kidman (in a bizarre prosthetic nose) but the film is so well crafted it hardly matters. Woolf certainly suffered for her art, and that comes across loud and clear. The opening scene shows her terrible suicide in haunting detail.


Then there's Prick Up Your Ears, again a tragic tale of the life and too early death of playwright Joe Orton. Based on the excellent biography by John Lahr the film is another well crafted piece with sparklingly witty dialogue by Alan Bennett worthy of Orton himself. It charts his humble beginnings, long apprenticeship and final triumphant success and recognition cut tragically short by murder. I've watched this film many times.

Another is Sylvia, the story of poet Sylvia Plath. This isn't the best biopic I've ever seen but it does convey the passion and vulnerability of the subject. Plath's consuming love for fellow poet Ted Hughes ultimately drove her to suicide when their marriage fell apart.
Notice a recurring theme here? Sure, it could be that tragic ends are just the kind of romantic fodder Hollywood loves and not all writers live life on the edge. But there is something fascinating about the tragedy and the artist. Perhaps that's why the romantic notion persists.

Which writers have inspired you?

The Future of Publishing

OK, I better kick this off by saying that I am in no way shape or form an expert on publishing so all the thoughts expressed here are simply the disinterested observations of an onlooker. But in case you hadn't noticed the times, they are a changin'.

A year ago most of my online writer buddies were in the same boat as me: seeking representation, hoping to be published through a traditional publisher or perhaps a smaller indie. We had been subbing for a good while, posting work on peer review sites and struggling with rewrites to get the book into an attractive enough shape to sell. We'd agonise over synopses and query letters. We'd moan about the rejections and get excited when a new agency/publisher appeared on the horizon.

Then along came the Kindle and now the landscape has changed beyond recognition. Most of my buddies have been taken up by e-publishers or self-published on Kindle. Instead of posting about ways to improve their books they are getting on with the next one. Instead of posting chapters for peer review they are endlessly promoting their published books. Some say that is the arduous part of the process; plugging to within an inch of their lives. Because with so many e-books out there, you have to shout very loud and jump very high to be noticed among the crowd.

So what is to become of the old order, now e-books are the new craze? There are already signs that agents are losing out and with so much up and coming talent rushing to self-publish a la Amanda Hocking their pool of available talent must be shrinking. I see new authors join up on writers' boards, not for advice on submitting to agents but how to best put their book out there. And without any filter there must be a lot of poorly written fodder hitting the internet. The new Slush Pile is online and who has the time to sort through the chaff? This was traditionally the agent's job and now they're being bypassed.

Some agents are turning overnight into publishers, putting their clients' backlists up for sale. Not surprisingly this has caused some controversy as it's clearly a conflict of interest. But it begs the question: in this new Kindle age what exactly is the role of the agent?

Well it seems to me their skills are still needed, perhaps more than ever. Writers need good editorial advice, marketing know-how and contacts in media to help them produce great books and get them to as large an audience as possible. I don't know how this will all play out but it will be interesting to watch.

And here's an up-beat and informative post from Alan Rinzler at The Book Deal on this very subject.

Yet more internet paranoia

Recent question on a writers' board about how much one should trust internet "friends". Someone was trying to make contact with a potential beta - a person who will swap manuscripts and give you feedback on your WIP - and had encountered some wariness when she raised the issue on a large public forum. Being a trusting soul she couldn't figure this out.

The internet is an odd thing. Considering how vast and multinational it is, it can feel, as you surf in the cosy safety of your room, strangely intimate. In a very short time you can reach a level of trust with complete strangers that would normally take years. I've seen people discuss the most personal and private issues on some boards, to the extent where I've wondered whether the poster is fully aware of just how much they are putting out there for all and sundry to see. Because it's easy to forget how exposed you are on a public forum. And what's worse is not every person you encounter is as honest and well meaning as they might seem.

Put it this way. Would you walk down the street of your local town or city and hand copies of your precious novel - the one you're slaved over for months or even years - to complete strangers? OK, maybe that's a bit extreme, but it's not so very different from what we do when we post our work online. It's not unheard of for short stories and poems to be lifted and sold to magazines abroad without the author's knowledge. Cyber stalking is not unknown either and anyone who gives away too much about their personal life leaves themselves vulnerable to being targeted.

I don't want to sound alarmist, but the fact is there are some weirdos and crooks stalking the internet and we do well to bear that in mind before opening our hearts. I speak as someone who until recently was as guilty of that wide eyed naivete as any school kid. Just remember, anyone can be anything they want behind the mask of a cheeky screen name and avatar. It pays to be cautious.

New Project Planning

I'm itching to get to grips with something new, having finally put the WIP to one side for a cooling off period. I don't know about you but by the time I get to the end of a draft of something I'm so sick of being immersed in that world I'm twitching for a complete change. As it's a paranormal mystery with high drama and life or death stakes it's not surprising I fancy something a little lighter.

I had a go at a romcom last year but it ground to a halt. Romance isn't as easy as it looks, I've decided. Maybe I'm just too nasty to want lovey-dovey endings. But I haven't given up on wanting to write a comedy so I'm thinking a Black Comedy would suit me better. Or satire. I love taking the piss out of things so it's right up my street. But choosing a subject is tough. It has to be original and yet have enough potential to sustain the comedy from start to finish. Trying to figure out what I want to write is nearly as tough as writing it.

So I'm reading Catch 22 as an example of black comedy. There are lots of movie examples too, like Brazil and Dr Strangelove which are two of my favourite films. Any other suggestions?

Heard of Ayn Rand?

I hadn't, so it came as a surprise when she was brought to my attention recently on a TV programme All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace. Born in Russia in 1905, Rand moved to America in the 1920s to carve out a career as a screen writer. Over the years she became known for her philosophical views and for Objectivism, a school of thought which encompasses economics and politics and espouses the individual over collectivism.

Rand is herself a fascinating character. Check out the many interviews on Youtube and you'll instantly see how arresting she was, with dynamic intelligence burning in her huge dark eyes and eloquence tripping off her tongue in a Russian burr. Here she is giving Mike Wallace a run for his money:



Whatever you make of her theories she was clearly no one's fool and lived her life in pursuit of a way of life she clearly felt passionate about.

Curious to know more I downloaded the free ebook of Anthem, available on Gutenberg, a dystopian novella which predates Orwell's 1984 by more than ten years yet is strangely reminiscent. It tells of a post-apocalyptic world where the individual is subsumed into the State and no longer has any control over their life. It is nightmarish and disturbing yet utterly compelling.

Her writing is marvellous, from the little I've seen. I've now ordered her magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged. It astonishes me that I had never heard of this woman and yet everywhere I look I find the mention of her name polarises opinions. On one message board someone referred to her "disturbing legacy" and vowed never to read any of her books. How anyone can decry something they haven't even read escapes me. One wonders what these people are so afraid of, if her ideas were so off base? No doubt I'll find out.

If you'll take my advice...

Everybody loves to spout advice, don't they? All you need is a half baked opinion - usually actual knowledge or insight gets in the way and makes the issue too complicated - and you can expatiate to your heart's content.

In the past few years of knocking around the internet in search of helpful nuggets of wisdom I've encountered many self-appointed experts. They tend to be somewhat lower on the food chain than the really successful writers whose opinions might actually be worth listening to if they had the time and could be bothered pontificating. Often they are only wannabes themselves. And many of them are so low down the food chain they are probably less knowledgable and experienced than...well, just about anybody.

I've spoken before about the dangers lurking on message boards. There are fantasists and liars around who aren't too fussy about the deceptions they perpetrate, and one thing they love to do is make themselves out to be something better than they are. It's so easy. Why waste twenty years building a real career in creative writing when you can make one up - and with the anonymity of the Internet no one can deny you.

So my opinion about advice obtained online is be very critical of all of it.

Most of it is rubbish. Even the most well intentioned advice might not be suitable for you at your stage of development. What helps one person may not help another. Sweeping statements are usually hopeless. Nothing is ever that simple and even the most obvious rules have been broken at one time or another.

The best teacher is your own experience and that takes time and hard work. Read a lot and write a lot and be skeptical of anyone coming at you with advice.