Assmosis

I love learning new words and urban dictionary is a good source. Here's one I encountered lately:

assmosis

According to the urban dictionary it means:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

And it got me wondering how many people get published not because of their talent or burning ambition but because of assmosis. There is no shortage of people in the business to suck up to: agents, editors, other published authors. Anyone in fact who can put a word in for you.

Networking is generally regarded as a Good Thing, but at what point does it become assmosis? I've seen it on some writers' boards - the double standard that says We the Publishers and Published are better than You the Wannabe and so you better tug your forelock and bend the knee and hope we like you enough to give you a chance. And a lot of wannabes play the game for all it's worth, showering praise and sucking up shamlessly as if their very life depended on it. Yes, plenty of wannabes play the game, but does it get you anywhere in the end?

I'd like to think not. That kind of grovelling really turns my stomach. And surely writers should be more concerned with Truth than demeaning themselves this way?

But people being people, I'm sure there are those who rise to the top by sucking the hardest. So if you lack talent or driving ambition, have you ever considered assmosis?

Where do you get your stories?

I'm at the brainstorming stage - looking for likely threads to weave into my next project. What I need are interesting characters, intriguing plot lines, problems to be worked out and lessons to be learned. In some ways I love this part of the process the best. After months - even years - of being hamstrung by the limitations of a project I feel like a kid in a sweet shop. I can run around grabbing chocolate and jelly beans from every glass jar and tossing them into the mix. Nothing is out of bounds, nothing too extraordinary; everything is allowed.

But where do these ideas come from?

A useful tool I'm trying this time is tarot cards. Pull a few at random and try to arrange them into a story. Here's a useful site I discovered that explains the process. It's basically a randomiser, but anything that helps break the linear mode of thinking is a big help. I'm trying to be open to the process and let my imagination have free reign.

As Truman Capote once said...

"Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it."

That's kind of how I feel at the moment. I finally sent off the revision on Thursday and since then I'm like a dog with no tail. In the past I've been left with lingering doubts and fears - symptoms no doubt of unfinished business. You know the sort of thing: waking in the night in a sweat thinking should I have said this? or why didn't I do that?. But not this time. For some reason it really feels finished and it's almost like a bereavement.

Of course, that'll only last until the next rewrite...

Busy, busy, busy...

Not been blogging much lately because

a. it's hot

b. I'm very busy

OK, I know everybody's busy, but this week I'm especially busy. For one thing I made the mistake of entering a flash fiction competition on Critter's Bar a couple of weeks back and won - don't get too excited, there were only 2 entries so it's not such a huge achievement - but the upshot was I had to judge the next one. It's the first time I've had to judge anything and let me tell you it's a lot harder than it looks! All the stories were clever and well written so I felt a right heel picking one over the others, but what can you do?

So that's one thing I've had on my mind. The other is I've more or less finished my revision of the novel. I've printed it out and this week I'm line reading it all in its entirety before sending it into the ether. How do I feel about this? Well, it's a curious mixture. I expected to feel elated but it alternates with bouts of pessimism. So far I've read about half and it's Not Bad, if I say so myself. But then, what do I know?

Anyway, once I've ironed out the glaring typos and other miscellaneous mistakes it'll be winging its way and then it's back to nail biting in a big way.

Why am I doing this again...?

The Joy of Editing

Never mind the Joy of Sex (I'm too old for that now anyway), have you treated yourself to the Joy of Editing?

Yes, I'm going to stand up and admit it. I love editing. Especially when it's done without any time pressure, it can be as good as luxurious lovemaking - well, maybe not, but the satisfaction that comes of reshaping something competent into something much better is hard to beat.

But I realise it's an acquired taste. I'm linking to Nicola Morgan's latest post about this because I could try and rip off her idea but she says it much better and besides it's too hot to work hard today. Must get back to my editing...

The End: So near but so far...

I'm now about 77k words into my major revision and the End Is In Sight. It's looking like it'll end up about 85-90k. But here's the weird thing. I've got a lot of distractions at the moment; all of the family have been home for the past fortnight so never a minute's peace. But in spite of that I've managed to rattle through between 1000 and 2000 words a day. I've never been more motivated because I really want to get this puppy finished if only so I can lay down in a dark room and never type another word. But the more I really want it finished, the harder it seems to be to get down to it. I've noticed this before. The End becomes one magnet and I become the other, mutually repelling each other.

I don't understand this. But over the last two days I've cleaned and reorganised my kitchen - for the first time in six years - so something drastic is obviously going on. I suppose finishing it means I have to send it out and perhaps I'm happier in limbo, wondering what Might Have Been?

Ah well. I'm not about to succumb to this tendency, you'll be relieved to hear. It just makes the process that bit harder.

The Rules and why you should ignore them

I read a lot of blogs by writers and editors, not to mention writers' forums. In this isolated life it's a good way to feel connected and as long as you let it all slide off your back does no harm at all. (Note: this isn't true of everybody - some people can't join a website without ending up in a fight with someone and seem to thrive on it. But I've always believed arguing on the internet is a bit like taking part in the Special Olympics; even if you win you're still mentally challenged.)

One thing bloggers seem to be particularly fond of is preaching about the Rules; particularly published writers and editors who see it as their mission to educated the Ignorant Unpublished. Not only is this arrogant in the extreme it's pretty self defeating. No one likes to be preached at, so all it's likely to do is reduce your readership. Those who care about getting it right will find their own way, the rest aren't serious and won't take it to heart anyway.

But who's to say what the Rules are? The adverb debate continues to rage on various writers' boards and blogs. This is such a circular argument it astonishes me how many intelligent individuals keep getting drawn into it. And at heart all it reveals is their own gargantuan ego: Do it my way, everything else is wrong. Yes, I know J K Rowling has adverbs but she's published and therefore a Great Writer and exempt from the Rules which only apply to lesser mortals like YOU.

The sad part is they alone are blind to it.

I watched Tracy Baines' brilliant interview with Agent Peter Cox this week and was struck by something pertinent that he said in the last segment about passion being the only thing that really matters. People get too bogged down, nitpicking over the Rules and ticking the boxes, they lose sight of the bigger picture.

I agree with this view. Your story should move the reader, transport them to another time and place, let them see and feel what the characters are living. Nobody picks up a book to count how many adverbs are in it. If the use of language supports the story, it doesn't matter how long/short it is, how many adverbs it has, how many full stops or semi-colons or anything. No one gives a shit. Make them forget their own lives for half an hour and you're winning. Reading is entertainment, after all.